Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Motel 6 Adventures

Wednesday August 26, 2009
...was a day that I recalled that my human communications had been reduced to costumer interactions. So what happened later was a hidden delight. Let's start at the beginning of the day. I left the Motel 6 in Billings, Montana at 6:3oam. Finishing my first job by 7:3o and was on the road and hoping to trade the Mountain time zone in for Pacific. It was going to be a long day but not impossible even with the possibility of a few Wasps battles. I made it to Coeur d' Alane by 11:oopm.
A lot of driving and visual beauty was broken up with a few roadside statements made by the higher ups from Montana Management. If you have not been to Montana in recent years you have missed out on the Montana Meth Project campaign. The founder of this project is Tom Siebel. This is either an example of a problem solver being "In The Zone" and at his creative peak or this could be a situation where good intentions with too much money and time meets poor judgment and lack of tact.
Here are two examples of his attempts to educate people on the directions your life will take if you decide to invite Meth into your life. These examples could be considered scare tactics unless you find them to be a fresh start to a
dull existence. Side note...statistics have been showing that certain individuals are in fact looking for this lifestyle but just didn't know how to achieve it. Tom Siebel the problem solver has decided to help and answer a few questions that may have been asked and using Billboards to deliver such answers. Here are the questions that have been asked and their billboard answers:
How and where should I loose my Virginity?

Now that I lost my Virginity I need $15 bucks and I want it in an abnormal way. How should I go about getting said moneys?

Now I'm intrigued by this Siebel character. So I checked this him out on Wikisituation and found this statement under the philanthropy section of the article.

The Siebel Foundation (founded 1996) is active in support of the homeless and underprivileged..."

I wish I could say that he is in support of helping the homeless become the home full and the underprivileged become the privileged. It just isn't clear what his intentions are. Is it to help individuals maintain current living conditions?
That's what I'm assuming. After all I did just witness an example of his logic on the side of the freeways.

Side not. A friend of mine read the the bathroom billboard differently. This is how it read..."No one thinks they'll lose their virginity here. Men will change that." I can't even imagine what actions Tom Siebel will taking to further the "MEN" problem we are faced with today.

Okay okay now for something completely different. Picture this I pull up to a Motel 6 in Coeur d' Alane and head toward the office. A beastly dude is walking toward me with a 5 gallon trash can. Eyes blood shot and bulging like he had been hanging like a bat with gravity pulling most of his bodily fluids to his head making his eye balls sacks of blood. Only wearing shorts. Big belly flopping around proudly. Looking ship wrecked. Waddling. We skip the greetings and I simply notice his trash can and that he is in the vicinity of the ice machines. Not unlike in the scene from Dumb and Dumber where Lloyd is leaving 7 Eleven and says, "Hey guys. Woah, Big Gulps, huh? All right! Well, see ya later." I say to Mr. Blood Sax, "Get'n some Ice?" He says in a low rumbled reply, "lkjdf;lkja l;kjdflkjfd l;kjdfl;kjad l;kjdfl;kjadfoiuoiur..." I smile and say, "Yeah. Me too." I walk into the office to claim my reservations while Mr. Ship Wreck claims the remainder of Motel 6's ice reserves. I may be the only one standing in line that found this to be humorous. Every load of ice that fell into the trash can consumed the air ways making it difficult to respond to the Motel 6 attendant's requests.
Shortly after he left he was back looking for more ice. As he walked past the office window his blood sacks made contact with my clear whites. He communicated to me with a single middle finger an exaggerated frown. He held it until his image left the frame of the window. For me it was exciting. I laughed to myself. Was no one seeing this with me?
As I giggled I wondered if he was going to be knocking on my door later that night or in future nights.


  1. Dude, i so wish i was there to laugh hell of hard with you at the blood shot eye sack of ...rahhhh!!! Really, all i needed was to hear you talk to can't even believe those Meth ads. What do people say about them, what a disgrace!!! Thanks for sharing!

  2. Gahhh, that's terrifying. Maybe he was icing bodies in the bathtub? Also, my verification word is "hompasis." Hope that helps.

  3. Seriously... I think you were one step away from joining the thawing pile of limbs jammed into the suitcases, bathtub and sink in that guy's room! - Chris

    p.s. what IS the going rate for letting Paul Bunyan "take a stab at you" in a public park?

  4. ha haaaa....jared, your friends are funny!!! Please post more blogage!!! :)