Monday, August 24, 2009

The Greatest Battle in Logan, Utah.

....They had received orders that there was an intrude on the roof. In twos their curled bodies fell out of the hive and stretched out as they took flight. These Beevangelistic Mormon wasps had something to tell me. They spoke to me in a singular voice. Drawing out the EEeees, ZZZzzzs and SSSSes with strange hypnotic timings.
Seducing me with their Theologieeeezzzzz. "Multiple malezzz with one Queen is the new way" they hummed. I had enough! I put my ear buds in and cranked Megadeth's "Symphony of Destruction." Took aim with a can of hot Acid in each hand and drove each one to the ground all the while cursing them in the name of the Father! and throwing a "DIE BITCHEZ!" in now and again for good measure. It is my belief that future generation of wasps will speak of me with Great Fear. They better! Why else am I doing this Job.
I changed the music considering that the mood had changed. Chet Baker now singing his melancholic melodies. The sun was setting into a bright orange glow. I laid flat on my stomach with my ear to the vinyl so I could see the roof with its new texture of bodies that continue to melt away and decompose. I felt a twinge of sadness to see my new friends lay in puddles of nuclear poison. They were the only ones that got me. My soul had been revealed. They wanted to put me out of my misery. I guess I wanted life more than they did. I stood up. Admired the battle field and thought, "What a shame. My greatest piece and no one to view it with me."
I turned Chet off and went back to work. Back to do the job I was born to do.

Totally different.
Being on the road by myself for more than two weeks gives me a lot of time think. So I've been taking advantage of this. Lately I've been pondering Relationships. All kinds. Romantic. Friendship. Father to Son and visa versa. Business. But mainly Romantic and Friendship. Last week I received an email from by brother Tyler telling me to check out this Article in the Yakima Herald. I'm from Yakima. This is the news paper that people from Yakima read.

Here is the link. Do what ever you have to do to open it.

The third paragraph down drops my friend's name. We were best friends in Elementary (pronounced El-e-men-terry) and Middle School. I got up extra early on most mornings to help him with his paper route. We rode BMX and made Jumps. Once we were in a water fight with this really annoying kid who was kind of our friend. Kevin and I ran to the back behind the shed and topped our water receptacles off with Urine. About 2 minutes later Jeff was wearing a foamy layer of diluted Pee Pee. We had some good times. We parted ways during High School. Of course after reading this article I began to think what if we had remained friends and continued to influence each other. Where would we be.
The people in my life are very important to me. I may not say it very often but I need their friendship. I want their advice. I want to hear about their life and social observations. I want to hear their laughter. I want to hear what they are working on and how it helps them to grow. Successes and Failures. I want it all.
I'm saddened to see what direction Kevin has taken his life. I can only imagine what his parents are feeling.

Just for fun.

Friday, August 21, 2009

The Good News

Well I'm back folks. Oh by the way it's Jared. Frank and Jerry went on vacation. They were griping about being over worked and under paid so while they are gone I'll be sitting in for the both of them. A lot has happened since Frank wrote last. Well a lot and not a lot at the same time. It's been a few months of the same stuff. My job has taken me all over Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Utah, Montana and sometimes Wyoming. Which is a lot. But I've seen the same cities and towns with all the same scenery (which is a lot of not lot). I've had a chance to see How great and How lame the US is. Such a contrast between the natural beauty of the land scape verses the shopping centers that have plagued the footings of the Mountain rangezzzzz. In Salt Lake (which I've heard was originally founded and named by the Germans...Shceissesee (pronounced Shy-za-zee). Translation...Shit Lake. The Mormons (pronounced More-mun-z) did not think this was very nice so they changed the name to Salt Lake. Side note...some of the locals think it's funny to say Salt Lick. Great senses of humor down in Utah.
So I have been employed to change all the heating and air filters for all the TJ Maxx, Marshalls and Radio Shacks (or The Shack is what they are calling it these days and if you have been to The Shack lately you will notice that there are signs saying what The Shack's likes and dislikes are. Seems like He/She/It is talking in the third person). I get up on Roofs and deposit new filters and throw away the old ones. Then move on to the next store. This takes between 14 and 20 days depending on the route. I spend most of the time on the road speeding, thinking, listening to music, books on Tape and waiting to urinate on top of a roof. Nothing like looking at the mountains while your bladder empties. While I'm on the roof I do my job as quickly as I can while punching and kicking all the wasps that have claimed these roofs as their home. Today I decided to talk and reason with them. Let them know that I mean no harm. They listened after I back handed one. I'm not kidding. I literally swung my hand and slapped him. Yesterday I kicked one. There is a feeling of joy that comes over me when I connect with these threatening beasts. After a wasp has been hit he rolls around on the ground like he just got hit or kicked in the balls. It's okay because he is soon to recover. But while he is down I apologize to him and tell him to leave me alone while I do my job or I will come back with acid that will deconstruct his little body. When he gives me that confused look I tell him that it's okay and that I'll clear things up. He will know what I mean once he sees his friends, family and home melt under this chemical compound.

The softer side of Jared...
My latest purchase is a Digital Voice Recorder. It's one of those gadgets that people use to record their voice. I've added that to my list of things I do in the truck while driving. If you drive up next to me you might see me Note to Selfing all up and down the Northwest and beyond. I've found this to be very helpful in understanding what is really going on in my head. If your like me you have a lot of unconnected thoughts bumping into each other and you might wonder what it all means. This has proven to bring me understanding of where I stand on a lot of issues in a quicker time frame. Its like I'm a scientist hard at work looking into cracking the depths of Jared's Subconscious. When I actually hear my thoughts put into words it changes everything. I've realized that when I talk to people I have a filter on. I turn the filter off when I'm talking to myself. Then hearing it back gives me insight how others hear me when I speak. I can be a bit confusing sometimes. My hope is to change this and become a better communicator. Have you ever said something that you were thinking and once it comes out you realize that it isn't what you wanted to say. And Maybe it's too late because the damage was done. I have. I want to change that. I don't want to be misunderstood and I also want to understand myself. So I'm the big dork speeding past you with his Note to self recording unit and taking notes on the out come.

I'm out!