Monday, August 24, 2009

The Greatest Battle in Logan, Utah.

....They had received orders that there was an intrude on the roof. In twos their curled bodies fell out of the hive and stretched out as they took flight. These Beevangelistic Mormon wasps had something to tell me. They spoke to me in a singular voice. Drawing out the EEeees, ZZZzzzs and SSSSes with strange hypnotic timings.
Seducing me with their Theologieeeezzzzz. "Multiple malezzz with one Queen is the new way" they hummed. I had enough! I put my ear buds in and cranked Megadeth's "Symphony of Destruction." Took aim with a can of hot Acid in each hand and drove each one to the ground all the while cursing them in the name of the Father! and throwing a "DIE BITCHEZ!" in now and again for good measure. It is my belief that future generation of wasps will speak of me with Great Fear. They better! Why else am I doing this Job.
I changed the music considering that the mood had changed. Chet Baker now singing his melancholic melodies. The sun was setting into a bright orange glow. I laid flat on my stomach with my ear to the vinyl so I could see the roof with its new texture of bodies that continue to melt away and decompose. I felt a twinge of sadness to see my new friends lay in puddles of nuclear poison. They were the only ones that got me. My soul had been revealed. They wanted to put me out of my misery. I guess I wanted life more than they did. I stood up. Admired the battle field and thought, "What a shame. My greatest piece and no one to view it with me."
I turned Chet off and went back to work. Back to do the job I was born to do.

Totally different.
Being on the road by myself for more than two weeks gives me a lot of time think. So I've been taking advantage of this. Lately I've been pondering Relationships. All kinds. Romantic. Friendship. Father to Son and visa versa. Business. But mainly Romantic and Friendship. Last week I received an email from by brother Tyler telling me to check out this Article in the Yakima Herald. I'm from Yakima. This is the news paper that people from Yakima read.

Here is the link. Do what ever you have to do to open it.

The third paragraph down drops my friend's name. We were best friends in Elementary (pronounced El-e-men-terry) and Middle School. I got up extra early on most mornings to help him with his paper route. We rode BMX and made Jumps. Once we were in a water fight with this really annoying kid who was kind of our friend. Kevin and I ran to the back behind the shed and topped our water receptacles off with Urine. About 2 minutes later Jeff was wearing a foamy layer of diluted Pee Pee. We had some good times. We parted ways during High School. Of course after reading this article I began to think what if we had remained friends and continued to influence each other. Where would we be.
The people in my life are very important to me. I may not say it very often but I need their friendship. I want their advice. I want to hear about their life and social observations. I want to hear their laughter. I want to hear what they are working on and how it helps them to grow. Successes and Failures. I want it all.
I'm saddened to see what direction Kevin has taken his life. I can only imagine what his parents are feeling.

Just for fun.


  1. the audio dude! we need the audio of DIE BITCHEZ!!

  2. I am loving these epic literary stylings. Also loving that you have finally joined me in my crusade against the bees. United we stand.

  3. When are you coming to visit us in Utah, Mr.?!? I'm sorry about your friend. It sucks when childhood friends go down paths we can't comprehend...

  4. oh j-red. i'll always love your thoughts.

  5. These thoughts are thoughts that I can get behind.